Abyss 6

Written on May 3, 2015

I sat by the river,
Goosebumps on my skin,
Talked to you,
For an hour or so,
Did you listen to me?
Because I did feel,
Once or twice,
You were probably
Replying to my questions.
You were murmuring,
And I could not understand.
But when I wept,
The Han wept with me,
And I knew it were your tears.
You did miss me,
As I you,
And in spite of the fact,
That so many years,
Have separated the two of us.
Deep down,
You have filled,
The abyss in me,
As I you.

The sun went down,
And the moon peeked,
Through the grey clouds,
A tide rose,
The water lapped against me,
Were that you?
As it retreated,
I realized,
I had lost it again.
Never the waters,
Could I keep with me,
Lest a part of you,
Would stay forever,
In me,
I wish.

For the abyss is but deep,
And within us all,
Only sorrow fills it,
But one day,
Oh I am sure,
Things will be better,
When on the other side,
Of the world,
Where you reside,
I will come,
And they will too,
And we all, would be,
Together.

Will You Recognize Me?

Are you really that intangible,
That you would come every single night,
Every single night in every single dream,
Yet fail to show up wherever I look for you,
Are you really that intangible?
Like a wisp of air, tangling in my hair,
Like the breeze of summer, and the gale of winter,
Throughout seasons, you are just there,
Sitting, smiling, waiting, looking at me,
Through those two shiny eyes that I have long not seen,
But as soon as I wake up, you are gone.
Where?
Where are you now, right now, in which world,
Tell me the color of the sky you see,
Do you look up to see at the skies,
Or do you look down silently watching me,
Tell me for I am tired of this melodrama,
Tell me.
Sometimes when I think of you before I sleep,
I see the face I saw so many years ago,
So many years have died since then,
A hundred seasons have passed,
And yet you are still there, holding time in your hands,
Not letting it pass by,
When I see you again,
Will you recognize me?

The Smoke

The smoke rose endlessly from the pier,
Suffocating the child whilst the held the fire,
He was only five, then why didn’t he,
Sit at home unaware of this?
He knows not what he does,
He knows not what he loses,
He cries because his eyes are sore,
Knows not why the others around weep.
He sees a kite flying in the air,
Wishes he could fly the one at his home,
But he can’t leave the others here,
He’s sad that others cry,
And asks one if he wants a kite too,
The other looks into the sky,
Sees the clouds huddling together,
Soon the rains will come down,
Wash away the fire lighted in front,
Wash away the fire in each one’s soul,
He sees the clouds too, sees a cat in them,
And sees his father’s face in another,
He hasn’t seen him for a while,
And feels he is somewhere around,
He knows not what he burnt,
He knows not what he lost.

Abyss 5

Someone walked in through the bedroom door,
Walked out through the balcony,
And jumped to the ground below.
I kept looking at him, a known silhouette,
A plethora of emotions, a croaking of a raven,
The smell of first rain, and the salt from the sea,
The early morning breeze, and the hundred known faces,
All converging into one, then diverging into many.
I looked at the mirror, he looked at me and smiled,
Then vanished as the waves that lap against the shore.
He jumped back from the ground into the balcony,
This time I jumped to reach him, to hold his hand,
He wasn’t real, the face was now mine,
We had interchanged, only if it were for true.
The smell of smoke, of petrol and the wind in my hair,
We were racing on a road travelled years ago,
He looked at me, and his bike speeded up,
In a moment he vanished.

I was back on my bed, getting down to open the door,
He visited me for some notes,
We broke our fast together but his plate was untouched.
There was another woman going up the stairs,
She waved at me, and her face changed into his.
Then there was laughter, and I was in the classroom,
Sitting behind him, and he cracked a joke.
Everyone around was laughing, laughing merrily.
We came out of the class into the open air,
The grass so green and soft, like it was alive all over again,
We smiled, and yet tears were shed.
Someone shook me and I woke up, it wasn’t that bad a dream,
After all it was only a dream.
Or so I wished.

Abyss 4

There appeared a hole, a narrow deep one,
And inquisitive enough about what it would be,
I started delving into it.
I went deeper and deeper inside it, deep into the abyss,
Until I found myself in a place,
Where winters never existed.
I didn’t know where I was, except that,
I knew no one around me knew that either,
We all came from somewhere we couldn’t remember,
And settled around this fire, the fire of death.

I saw this small guy, who said he died the same day,
How he died he didn’t know, and little did he know,
That I knew how he did.
He clasped my hand, and asked me to take him back,
Through the same hole that I came inside through.
I agreed, but when I turned around,
The hole was nowhere to be seen.
Only a sick laugh surrounded us, a laughter of cries,
Saying what’s gone is gone.

Colors of his life, colors of my life,
Turned then from white to black,
And whilst we sat thinking how we’d go back to life,
Someone pushed me and I woke up to a horror,
It’s two years now, where are you?

Somewhere

They said I killed her, that she died because of me,
Although deep somewhere, I know it wasn’t my fault.

Jet black eyes and a white dress,
She walked into my life one day,
And before I realized what was happening,
She changed it in a strange way.
It wasn’t love which I’d fallen in,
Because there was no pain in it,
The only pain that I felt each day,
Was when she said, “Tomorrow we’ll meet.”
If it were a jigsaw puzzle which I was solving,
Only one piece was what I couldn’t find,
And I knew it was around, hiding somewhere,
So that someone could stab me from behind.
And yes it happened, as I thought it would,
She ran away as far as she could,
Not bothering to tell me what happened to her,
And left me alone the whole of that summer.
When people found out that she had died,
By eating food with poison mixed,
They said she killed herself for I had betrayed her,
I couldn’t respond, I was already fixed,
Fixed into something which would never wash off,
The fact that she had left me alone,
And though I knew I didn’t hurt her,
I kept shut, as dumb as a stone.
Two years have passed, and sometimes in my dreams,
She comes and apologizes to me,
Says she’s sorry for what she did,
And calls me to her world where all are free.

Black Roses

She turned eight the day she died,
I still reminisce how I had cried,
How when I apprehended I won’t see her anymore,
My heart distressed me to the core.
But time nurses lacerations and so did it,
And light again in our lives were lit.
People unremembered her, oh, too soon,
For when we prayed in the light of the moon,
No one asked for her to rest in peace,
Except me, who said, “Bring her back, please”.

The garden where she frolicked with me,
The roses there metamorphosed from yellow to black,
And when I plucked one, it crumbled down,
As a paper crumbles down when burnt to ash.
My heart borne her, and it will do,
Till when, till where, I do not know,
Perpetually will last what existed for sometime,
Though a thousand others may come and go.
When tonight I pray that she be safe,
Wherever she is, however she is,
I mean to be unpretentious, and I promise her,
That I’ll be with her soon, wherever she is.