Stranded – 2

Read the first part in Stranded – 1.

She looked at him, he was still drinking,
He hadn’t said a word in the past three hours,
Wondered how terse he had become,
And wondered whether he even loved her anymore.
The blood on his face had dried to black,
A stream of it from his forehead to chin,
She remembers how that had splashed on his face,
And the axe that he used to kill him.

The boy who was waiting on him came up later,
And told them they needed to pay for the ale,
She explained how their money had been stolen,
How they had been robbed of everything as they came.
He went back to his mistress, explained everything,
The wench was ruthless, she didn’t care,
Came up and slapped her on both her cheeks,
That was the last time the wench ever breathed.

As night fell upon them, they decided to sleep,
Shared the hay that the horse in the stable slept on,
She talked to him about love and hopes,
About the children that she planned to have,
The things she had ruminated on while he drank,
He listened intently, or so he pretended,
Until a point when he dozed off,
Leaving her to herself, still talking intently.

When the sun next rose, the girl woke up,
And as she rubbed her eyes and faced his side,
Lo, her love was nowhere to be seen,
Nor was the horse, the stable gates open.
She leaped up and started running,
Never missing the footsteps the horse left behind,
But after some hours she realized her folly,
Sat down where she stood, and wept out loud.

She learned that day what love was about,
How it seldom stood against the face of adversity,
How people changed, and did not realize,
And how love like all things eventually came to an end.
Her love knew no bounds, then why was she,
Alone today, in despair and turmoil?
Stranded she sat, amidst the sand,
Which would bury her into itself, come tonight.

He’s Not Me

The one who sits with you by day,
Promises happiness wild and gay,
Says he’d bring the moon for you,
Where there’d be room for two,
He who says he loves you,
More than anyone else can ever,
And that the day he forgets you,
That day in his life would come never,
The one whom you kissed on the forehead,
When he was sad and wanted to die,
He’s not me.
I am the evil that you haven’t seen,
The star which shines on dark things light,
He who kills with his eyes painfully,
He’s me.
The one who promises to live with you,
Only to stab you behind your back,
To kiss you on your lips with his poisoned ones,
He’s me.
The one who said he’ll die for you,
Yet knows he’d kill you when needed,
Who shows you a smile and is full of wrath,
He’s me.
The one you love and the one you think of,
The one who never ever thought about you,
He’s me.

Bruises

She looked into my eyes and said,
What never before had anyone,
“You’ll suffer one day for what,
 You’ve done to me for your fun”.
The words and the moment in my mind,
Are fresh as today’s morning dew,
The thorns she sew on my path are there,
And bruised I am in places few.
I remember that night as a moment splendid,
One of happiness, joy and laughter,
Though she never came to know,
Why I did what I did after.
The steps we took together in that hour,
Her right foot, my right foot, her left, my left,
Are the marks which still lie inside my heart,
Though she had long ago it to rot left.
I remember the moment when I held her hand,
A rush inside my nerve,
Time however spilled like a fist of sand,
And I didn’t see her beyond the curve.
She comes in my dreams sometimes and says,
What I did was wrong, I accept that in fact,
And I pray to God to take me back in time,
Only so I could keep a few things in tact.
The day she left me was the day I died,
And a million times have I died since then,
As from a high branch of some forlorn tree,
Falls the nest of a silent wren.

Once Again

When today I saw you on the street this morning,
You weren’t supposed to be there.
When I looked at you and tried to figure out,
In the light of the day your face,
You weren’t supposed to be figured out.
When you decided to ignore me,
For the sake of your safety,
I wasn’t supposed to be hurt.
When you purposely hurt me and say,
It wasn’t intentional, only a coincidence,
I am not supposed to be told that.
Once again it’s happening, the pages of an old diary,
Once again it’ll happen, that page of the old diary.
When you said you’ll walk with me by day,
I wasn’t supposed to be your shadow.
When you said you’ll be with me all night,
I wasn’t supposed to be your pillow.
When just for the sake of your happiness,
You play with my life and say you’re sorry,
I’m not supposed to be hurt at all.
To whomsoever this may concern, go away,
I don’t want you by me, night or day,
Go away, you can’t do anything to me,
I don’t want to be hurt once again.

Why?

I know you won’t answer, but all the same,
I just want to ask you why, though it may sound lame.
Why did you show me the stars bright in the sky,
When you weren’t there to walk with me and all those talks were a mere lie.
Why did you tell me of dreams you wove for me,
When the thread you knit it with was so feeble it set itself free.
Why did you say that you care about how I am,
When deep inside you did know that you actually don’t give a damn.
Why did you say that we would meet once we were in town,
When beforehand you had already planned to let all my hopes down.
Why did you tell me you’d go with me to the moon,
When you within your heart planned to leave me so soon.
Why did you tell me like blood and veins, you and I,
When you had long ago promised yourself to leave me alone to die.
Why did you clutch my hand and tell me it’s love,
When you wouldn’t be mine for you wished to be free as a dove.
Why did you say ‘I love you too’ when I said ‘I love you’,
When you knew your were lying and you knew I was true.
I know you won’t answer, but all the same,
I just wanted to ask you why, though I knew it sounded lame.

Nectar

Down amongst the dust that pair of feet,
And on the feet the chiming anklets.
Took away from the flower their nectar sweet,
And housed it in the love birds’ nests.
A bee came once and sat on the flower,
Smelt it for long yet did not sting,
It stayed there for over an hour,
And did a hymn of undying love sing.
One night it so happened,
That out of anger,
The bee decided not to things mend,
And stole from the flower its nectar.
From then the flower, ah, has stayed,
Without the meaning of its life,
As if someone had stolen and betrayed,
Its whole existence, and all its strife.
It saw in the garden the other flowers,
Jealous it felt yet kept it quiet,
And in its heart built several towers.
Towers of dreams, by the night.
When will that day come,
Oh, will it come ever?
When in the flower’s kingdom,
Its fragrance will return forever.
Silently I pray to the Lord each day,
To show me those feet, that nectar sweet,
And I am sure he’ll take me on your way,
Where once again I’ll hear the chime of the anklets on your feet.

Toy

The morning arrived with an aroma, an aroma of sweetness, a flavor of brightness, a scent of indeterminable affection, and spread around it the light of happiness, love, affection, passion and gratitude. Today I was awake at 5 a.m., and no wonder, it was my birthday. I rushed down to the hall, and lying there, amongst many other gifts, I could see that special gift. Right now, the heaps of chocolate kept didn’t matter to me, the deodorants and the new clothes did not matter a bit, the basket full of potato chips and “Kurkure” hardly incited any hunger, and the home-made tarts could be taken care of later. Nothing was so important for me, as was this. This, the one which I could see and see and never get tired. This, the one, which meant half my life to me. This, the one, I could staple to my heart and carry it with me all my life. My girlfriend’s gift for me.

A plethora of emotions rushed through my nerves. It was as if the whole world had stopped for a moment, and everything was paused, and I could cherish the moment for as long as I wanted to. Kept on the sofa, was an electric guitar, a coffee mug and a card with a rose. A red rose. Until today I had always got a yellow rose. This was the first time someone had given me a red one. I knew she loved me a lot, I loved her hundredfold. I could keep seeing and seeing and seeing, but I was getting late for school, and I could, by no chance, miss school today. I took the card up in my hands, no, I would read that in front of her in school, when I would be with her. Yes, that would be a good idea.

Beep beep! Beep beep! A message on my cell phone. Quoting, “Happy bday to you, Happy bday to you, Happy bday dear Anindya, Happy bday to you! Ok, now get ready for school. And a request, read the card only after you get back home from school.” A text from her. I read it again. Why should she have such a queer request? Anyhow, I was too excited to figure out anything at the moment, so I dressed up and prepared to leave for school.

In school, to my surprise, she didn’t turn up. God knows why, I thought. I waited for her practically the whole day, wishing she would come to attend at least one period, but no, she did not show her face the whole day. I kept wondering, but got no valid reason for her absence from school that day. Then the last bell rang, and I got back to my vehicle, trudging my way, and went back home.

As soon as I reached home, I rushed to my cell. And sure enough, there it was, a brand new message lying there in my inbox. I opened it. Quoting,

“Hey! Happy birthday again! 🙂 You can now read the card, thanks for keeping my request btw!”

Okay, I thought. Where was this leading to? Puzzled, I went inside my room, took out the card, and prepared myself to read it.

“My dearest has turned nineteen today,
So throw all your problems away,
Enjoy the day, albeit without me,
And forever shall I love thee.”

Queer I thought, why would someone have to write such a strange couple of lines on a birthday card. I continued reading,

“I never wanted to leave you to yourself, but circumstances have forced me to do so. Please do not be upset. Although I am not physically present around you, I’ll always be there for you, whenever you need me, wherever you need me, however you need me. It’s just that I need to go now, a bit far, quite a bit far away from you. And I am sure you are brave enough to manage this by yourself, so I decided to tell everything to you straightaway.

I have a hole in my heart. It’s not something new, it’s been there since I was born. And I am not very sure how long I will be able to sustain my life with this. I do not want to come so close to you that you find it unbearable lest something happens to me. So I am going, far, very far. I hope you understand this and will forgive me.

Happy birthday again, and don’t spoil your mood and the day because of all this. I love you.”

Ok. A moment of silence. I thought I needed to read through the whole thing once again lest I missed out the line where she said, “Lol! I was joking. I am not going anywhere! Haha!” but, no, nothing like that. Twice, thrice, I read it, each time my heart sinking deeper and deeper into the sea of death. Why did all of this have to happen to me? Why couldn’t God give me an equal share as he gave others? Why… Why did He choose to make me a toy, which could be used and thrown, when broken, and was not fit for any seriousness, why?