Lost

This is a story of all I’ve lost,
All those who believed in me once,
All those who I thought
Would stay here forever.
All those who were my people.
My people.

But there’s a river always,
And there’s the other bank,
And I’ve seen you go to the other side,
And there are beliefs there too.
Yet I’ll come there sometime,
If I’m strong enough,
To fight against the currents,
And to fight against the odds.

But what’s in store for tomorrow,
Nobody knows,
And the clocks go tick-tock tick-tock,
And I keep losing my faith,
And my people,
And they lose their faith,
And me,
An endless cycle.

But all’s not lost, there is a ray of hope,
Shining from behind the clouds,
Which cloud my mind presently,
Making me unable to see what’s across it,
Whether it’s a silver lining,
Or are there endless clouds,
Hiding the sun, my source of energy,
I don’t know,
And nobody can tell me, unless they go.

This is a story of all those who I have lost,
To love.
Because sometimes,
Love is a poison,
One which comes back to get you,
To destroy you, and to harm you forever.
Memories hit me,
Like cold gales lashing across my face,
Of things that had best remain unsaid,
That had best remained undone,
But were done, in the moment,
Not foreseeing the future,
And here I lie, in despair,
Thinking about it without a course.

And there are others that I’ve lost,
To time.
For time is like sand, forever slipping between fingers,
No matter how hard you close your fist,
People, memories, happiness, friends,
Dwindle out.
Like the candle, having served it purpose,
Reduces to wax, and a part of it,
Forever stuck to the floor,
Like memories,
The memories of my people.

I’ve lost people, and I’ve lost time,
But that’s not all,
I’ve lost memories, so many of them,
In a chest full of gold and other treasures,
But someone robbed me of it,
In a dream one night,
And I have never found them again.
I’ve lost dreams,
He came one night, and told me so,
That dreams were only for those,
Who had their memories safe and sound,
But I had lost them.
I’ve lost wishes, which I had saved,
To demand of a genie should I find one,
But he came in the midst of a night,
And told me he wouldn’t grant me any,
‘Cause wishes were given to only those,
Who had big dreams, and I had lost them.

But lost things may yet be found,
Like toys of a child hidden in the cupboard,
And some day when I rush across,
The pages of time,
I might catch one at the end of a page,
Waiting, sitting there, just like me,
Trying to look out for those she’s lost.

Why do we Behave So?

Issue: People’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

Response:
So this is a question which has been kept me wondering for long. Why do we behave so? Why is a person rude when he is in a bad mood and why is he not when he is happy? Is it a force? If so, is it an external force or an internal one? Is it true that people’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making? And if it is so, why is it so? Who is controlling us if it is not us? I agree on the onset that this is a very stupid question, but nonetheless I am going to spend some time pondering over it and you are welcome to join me in doing so.

I am no psychology student, so perhaps my analysis is going to be very rough and sketchy, and it might be totally wrong, so if anyone out here, who is perhaps reading this, has a radically different opinion, I would request you to do share it in the comments section, and make this post a fruitful one. So let’s get down to the main story. A friend of mine asked me whether or not I agree to this motion. And I said, well, no. Or maybe partially yes, but definitely not a complete one. I do not completely agree with the motion that people behave depending on forces not of their own making. Believing in such a principle indicates that you have given up your power to decide how you should behave to somebody else, or something else. Who then do you think is responsible for the way you behave? And I have reason to refute it because I know a set of my friends who are so indifferent, that they do not really care what the others think or say or do or whatever. Clearly, there is no force acting upon them which causes them to react or behave differently. So maybe it is a weak motion in fact.

You can always choose to be happy or sad. Your mood and your behavior is your choice. Let me give you an example. If you are constantly upset over something, maybe you should realize it is time you moved on and let that factor be as it is. You cannot, at any time, let something affect you so much that it can start to control your behavior. If it does, it only means that you are not strong enough, and that it is high time you stop and think for yourself why you are doing what you are doing and how it is affecting you. I have so many short anecdotes in my mind, so many real experiences that I want to share with you right now, but I do not want to extend this post for more than long, lest you get bored and run away.

However, I do not completely disagree with the motion. Maybe after all there are some forces which are not of our making which can affect our behaviour. I could place an argument like this. If someone is affected by an earthquake and is upset, then well one can say that this behavior is due to a force which is not of his own making. Similarly, sometimes the atmosphere around you itself stinks of a sadness or an anger due to deeds committed by someone else or by a factor over which one might have absolutely zero control. In such cases, it is important for us to stay aloof of our surroundings and keep ourselves calm and composed. Because at the end of the day, your behaviour is going to affect you, and make you a better or a worse person, irrespective of the people around you, irrespective of the surroundings you are in, and irrespective of who you care for or who cares for you. Therefore, take a back seat, and chill. Think before you act. Behave as if you want to, not as others want to, because it is your life and you have the right to lead it as you want to, not as the others want.

Wilderness

Issue:
Nations should pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain.

Response:
Nature has its own way of showing its wrath upon the humans. While on one hand, we have ever so increased our standard of living by letting industrialization encroach upon both nature and our lives, on the other hand, we also know that this comes at a price. Though the governments have been willing to pay this price for long now, they have come to realize that this bargain is not going to end on a happy note. And so we come to the topic of wilderness areas. These are those areas, those patches of land, that have yet kept themselves hidden and safe from the wrath of mankind. These are those tiny specks of land here and there (and by specks I mean forests, because if you see the world, or the universe, they indeed are merely specks), which are still in their natural state, and which flourish in themselves with habitats yet untouched, with animals yet unharmed, with trees yet not felled, and with life yet undisturbed. What should then be the approach of a nation towards such a land?

What every nation wants today is to be on top of the world, and for that what it needs is economic prowess. So suppose an area can be utilized for economic gain, though that could literally mean extinction of a particular species, should the government allow the land to be encroached and utilized for public benefit? Or should it pass laws to preserve any remaining wilderness areas in their natural state, even if these areas could be developed for economic gain? Only if the answer to this question was in black or white. Now and then I have been talking of the grey area, the grey thoughts, the fine lines between the right and the wrong where seemingly most of the solutions lie, the potholes in the ever increasing miseries on the road we take. And this is one of those potholes, secretly filled, but taken out at night, so that one who does not see or is used to the light will be mistaken and fall into it, an ever swirling down spiral, taking one down to the depths of wrong, to the castles of misery, to the wrongdoings and the hidings and the money and the shutting up and the darkness and the spiders and the moths and the bats and the distant memories of sound of the chirps of the crickets and foggy mornings. Well then, to answer this question, one must get into their shoes, and see if they can really distinguish between the correct and the wrong.

What I say is my view, and maybe it does not reflect well on you. But then, this is my way of thinking. Because I am in love, in love with nature. I would rather see the trees around me and listen to the chirps and at night silently shiver at the howl of the wolf, rather than remain amidst the bustle of the city and the horns of vehicles and the smoke from chimneys and the pollution and the grief. I would rather see a sunny morning with the sun gleaming bright and the sunflowers turned towards it rather than walk on a path made of bricks and a road full of bikes. And that is because I believe in freedom. The freedom of thought. The freedom to let everyone live as they wish to, without interfering in their business, without encroaching their lands, without asserting my right on them, without anything that would lead to the thought of one being superior to the other, because in this world, there is no superiority, and there is no inferiority. We all are equals, and we must believe that, come to terms with that, because the fact that we believe otherwise (and yes, we do), is what is leading us to our doom. And it is ever-increasing. We first thought that we were superior to animals, and could do whatever we want. We now think we are superior to other humans, and can do whatever we want. Of course, we can. But should we? That is the more important question. That is the question that needs to be answered. Do we really need to prove ourselves? Who are we proving it to? Do we really need all this? Do we really need money? Do we really need space? What are we? Grey questions, so many unanswered that a life could be spent searching for the answers. And then there will be none.

Let us stop for a while, and stop considering this planet as a place where humans were meant to be, and start imagining it as a place where humans just happened to be. Maybe that will be the time we finally relinquish our desire to control everything, and maybe that will be the day when things will again become normal, and everyone will live happily ever after.

Repercussions

Yesterday night, I finished with ‘The Hobbit’. ‘The Hobbit’ is a story of a hobbit called Mr Bilbo Baggins, who is led out of his comfort zone into an adventurous journey through hills and vales and forests, with dwarves he doesn’t know. It is a story of conquering your fears, and trying to do something that you have always wanted to, but never felt that you could. The author tries to tell us through dwarves and goblins about the two kinds of people, the one who want peace and the one who wish for war. And though sometimes it may seem that the wrong side is winning, it is ultimately always the good who win. He teaches us, through his kiddish language, that money and riches are not everything and that the only things that are valuable are those that you take to your grave, and those are only memories. So you should spend more time creating memories than running after materialistic things. In today’s world, what material value is all what counts, this story reminds us of an alternate world that could be much better.

And indeed it is so. Children and youngsters today have happened to change their lifestyles to be drastically different from what their parents’ used to be. In a developing country like India, where the average person is more or less poor and trying to make ends meet by working ten hours a day, some of the others are busy ‘burning’ their money at malls, restaurants and other whatsoever places. I am not against them; well it is your money after all, who am I to judge? But sometimes I think if all of us could think a little before spending our money, then wouldn’t so much good come out of it? Save it for your future, save it for your children. If none of them suits you, just save it so that you can make proper use of it later.

Well, maybe I am not talking about other people at all. I think I am trying to reprimand myself for the way I have been acting over the past one year; spending so much without thinking, not caring where the money goes, not caring if it is right, following the oh-so-ever ideal principle of living in the present and not thinking about the future. But maybe thinking about the future is important after all. Now I see that I cannot retract my path. This post might actually not make sense to most of you if you haven’t been through what I have. This post is for those people who are not rich. This is for those who really do not have the money to enjoy each and every luxury that he or she wants to. My motto here is simple, and I advise this to all of you: Stop spending, start thinking. Because the lesser you spend, the more you realize that you do not really need all that. Less need, less want, less greed. Notch it down one scale and I am sure you will not lead a sadder life.

Dreaming on a Starry Night

He woke up all panting,
He had had a bad dream.

He had seen a war rage among the birds in the sky.
The eagle swooping down and perching itself,
Upon a carcass amidst the bloodstained grass.
He heard the clanging of swords upon shields,
The harks of men and the screeches of hawks,
The neighing of horses and trumpets of elephants,
He saw nothing.

He woke up with a fright,
Went up to his refrigerator to have a sip of water.
He came back and slept,
But the noise continued.
He now saw air missiles whooshing through.
People were running all about in mayhem.
Some screaming for their lives,
Some biting their tongues so hard they bled profusely.
At another corner of the ground,
He saw a man pulling three women by nooses at their necks.
They shouted.
He didn’t care.
He woke up again.

He looked outside his window,
Clearly disturbed by his dreams,
And stared at the gleaming stars above.
The night was silent,
And he heard the chirps of crickets.
When suddenly, out of the blue,
He heard a siren,
The siren for the curfew.
They were coming.
His dream come true.