Flutter-by Butterfly

A blink of an eye and I was transported,
To an alien world of butterflies,
Big, small, tiny, and mammoth-sized,
And I witnessed how each flies.
There was a red, a green, and a blue,
An orange, a yellow, and another pink,
And I was astonished to find myself,
Into its beauty slowly sink.
A butterfly fluttered by and sang me a song,
And the next that flew hymned the same,
In a language I had never heard till today,
And it seemed with me they were playing a game.
Said one to me, “Wish for something,
And I’ll make it true for you”,
I laughed at it, and said o butterfly,
Only if what you said were true.
And I asked him mockingly to give me wings,
And I don’t know how, and cant explain,
I suddenly felt I was flying through the air,
And with wings I flew in the rain.
A blink of an eye and I was transported,
Back to the world of the mortal human,
And I got upset that I was denied,
The life of a butterfly, all its fun.
Now I close my eyes and try to go back,
Go back to the world of the flying angel,
Multi-colored my life, with the rainbow it did,
And showed me heaven albeit in hell.

Toy

The morning arrived with an aroma, an aroma of sweetness, a flavor of brightness, a scent of indeterminable affection, and spread around it the light of happiness, love, affection, passion and gratitude. Today I was awake at 5 a.m., and no wonder, it was my birthday. I rushed down to the hall, and lying there, amongst many other gifts, I could see that special gift. Right now, the heaps of chocolate kept didn’t matter to me, the deodorants and the new clothes did not matter a bit, the basket full of potato chips and “Kurkure” hardly incited any hunger, and the home-made tarts could be taken care of later. Nothing was so important for me, as was this. This, the one which I could see and see and never get tired. This, the one, which meant half my life to me. This, the one, I could staple to my heart and carry it with me all my life. My girlfriend’s gift for me.

A plethora of emotions rushed through my nerves. It was as if the whole world had stopped for a moment, and everything was paused, and I could cherish the moment for as long as I wanted to. Kept on the sofa, was an electric guitar, a coffee mug and a card with a rose. A red rose. Until today I had always got a yellow rose. This was the first time someone had given me a red one. I knew she loved me a lot, I loved her hundredfold. I could keep seeing and seeing and seeing, but I was getting late for school, and I could, by no chance, miss school today. I took the card up in my hands, no, I would read that in front of her in school, when I would be with her. Yes, that would be a good idea.

Beep beep! Beep beep! A message on my cell phone. Quoting, “Happy bday to you, Happy bday to you, Happy bday dear Anindya, Happy bday to you! Ok, now get ready for school. And a request, read the card only after you get back home from school.” A text from her. I read it again. Why should she have such a queer request? Anyhow, I was too excited to figure out anything at the moment, so I dressed up and prepared to leave for school.

In school, to my surprise, she didn’t turn up. God knows why, I thought. I waited for her practically the whole day, wishing she would come to attend at least one period, but no, she did not show her face the whole day. I kept wondering, but got no valid reason for her absence from school that day. Then the last bell rang, and I got back to my vehicle, trudging my way, and went back home.

As soon as I reached home, I rushed to my cell. And sure enough, there it was, a brand new message lying there in my inbox. I opened it. Quoting,

“Hey! Happy birthday again! 🙂 You can now read the card, thanks for keeping my request btw!”

Okay, I thought. Where was this leading to? Puzzled, I went inside my room, took out the card, and prepared myself to read it.

“My dearest has turned nineteen today,
So throw all your problems away,
Enjoy the day, albeit without me,
And forever shall I love thee.”

Queer I thought, why would someone have to write such a strange couple of lines on a birthday card. I continued reading,

“I never wanted to leave you to yourself, but circumstances have forced me to do so. Please do not be upset. Although I am not physically present around you, I’ll always be there for you, whenever you need me, wherever you need me, however you need me. It’s just that I need to go now, a bit far, quite a bit far away from you. And I am sure you are brave enough to manage this by yourself, so I decided to tell everything to you straightaway.

I have a hole in my heart. It’s not something new, it’s been there since I was born. And I am not very sure how long I will be able to sustain my life with this. I do not want to come so close to you that you find it unbearable lest something happens to me. So I am going, far, very far. I hope you understand this and will forgive me.

Happy birthday again, and don’t spoil your mood and the day because of all this. I love you.”

Ok. A moment of silence. I thought I needed to read through the whole thing once again lest I missed out the line where she said, “Lol! I was joking. I am not going anywhere! Haha!” but, no, nothing like that. Twice, thrice, I read it, each time my heart sinking deeper and deeper into the sea of death. Why did all of this have to happen to me? Why couldn’t God give me an equal share as he gave others? Why… Why did He choose to make me a toy, which could be used and thrown, when broken, and was not fit for any seriousness, why?

Don’t Fall in Love

Don’t fall in love, ay only losers fall,
Rise in love, and stand in it tall,
The heart, a storm in it, govern,
The rain, a noise in it, listen.
Walk on the roads that lead you to her soul’s towers,
And make her the colors of your flowers.
Touch the raindrops, and merge with its soul,
Travel over the clouds, push out of the hole,
The hole of grief where you reside,
Leave it in her hand, and let life slide.
The fog, the mist, the blossoming bud,
She the eternal princess, my heart, a thud.
Smell of the soil in the rains of the monsoon,
A blessing of God, arrived on earth too soon,
Yet don’t fall in love, ay only losers fall,
Rise in love, and stand in it tall.
The dew on flowers, wet as my eyes,
After it realized that all were lies,
Lies that life is a rose-bed to sleep on,
When it was pricked by each and every thorn.
Abandoned is the village, the village of love,
Died has today, each and every dove,
Each and every emotion that I had carried till today,
Has burnt out to ashes by the light of the day,
Yet I’ll not fall in love, ay only losers fall,
And I won’t rise in it, my life’s to a halt.

Footpath II

Hello friends, before I begin, I must tell you, this may be the worst verse you will ever read in your life; the simple reason being, even I did not enjoy reading it after I wrote. Still, since I used up some time in writing this, so I am posting this. And this is almost the last post for this month, since after this I’ll be busy preparing for my end-semester exams. The only post to come out this month after this will be “Abyss 3”, which I will put up on May 25th, 2011. Till then, read this verse, and pull your hair apart if you don’t like it. 😛


Thunder, lightning, rain clouds around,
Everyone here to himself bound,
Where men are murdered and no one asks,
Anarchism hidden in tranquility’s masks.
There used to be on that side of the street,
A footpath, where together were our feet,
It is gone now, the footpath is gone,
It is gone now, you are gone.
How happy we were then now I think,
When we smiled at each other even for a wink,
How am I today, alas, half-dead,
The oceans of my eyes have turned blood-red.
How I feel on my shoulders even now sometimes,
Your hand, and grasped in it, my life.
The kohl you applied, the anklets you wore,
Are still in my mind, memories sore.
Far on the sand numb and quiet,
You sit and think, I don’t know what.
Hands raise out of the smoke and fall,
Silently this pain is killing all,
Fallen around are bleeding bodies,
They die, they rot, a hundred bodies.
When I was born, I had a dream,
It went suffocated, died my dream.
Where birds die daily because of people’s wrath,
That’s the place where was the footpath.

Meet you soon. I do not know when I will write next, I am out of stock in thoughts, my mind is so full of fears for the examination. Wish me all the best, and remember to come to my blog on 25th May. 🙂 Bye-bye for now.

The Twenty-Fifth Hour

Since I was born you looked after me,
How much I have grown only you can see,
As the mother corrects mistakes her children make,
You have spoken to me without being fake.
Twenty-four hours of the day you may be busy,
But the twenty-fifth hour is there for me.
I look back to the time of my inception,
You have helped me without any condition,
Today is my day to thank you O lass,
You are because of whom this blog has what it has.
But just like always, the mother has to better,
And as usual, I need to make my feet wetter,
Wet in the mysticism of poetry, of writing,
And I am far from being a blog king.
And there is a prayer, which I hymn now and then,
That a person like you should get all men.
You are the ideal, you have engendered,
The urge of writing, my posts you have rendered.
I know what I just wrote may seem nonsense,
But deep in my mind somewhere you have filled sense.
And as I pause, an eyelash falls on my hand,
And I wish your dreams against the sands of time stand.

Black Rose

The twilight came with a lightning,
And heavy downpours flooded the path,
Yet we did walk together,
And did in the rains take a bath.
And when we were on the road,
Didn’t you not at the thunder,
Hold firmly against my shirt,
And shortly realize your blunder?
But later you said nothing, kept silent,
How was I to understand,
That seeded in your mind were germs of love,
And that had made you hold my hand.
The rose apparently had to turn red,
From the yellow we had carried till today,
Yet you never gave me the hint,
And traumatized your fantasies by the light of day.
Yet when at length I decided to tell you,
And confessed to you my undying affection,
You said you did love me though once,
And now you were someone else’s possession.
It took me some time to digest the verity,
The red rose dried and it turned black,
My nights went sleepless and days melancholic,
And I cried at the pain of never getting you back.
Yet you came back for once, kissed me on the cheek,
And I thought for once you were again with me,
Yet soon did I realize you were waving good-bye,
And never again would I you see.
Today the twilight has come with a lightning,
And heavy downpours have flooded the path,
Today we both don’t walk together,
And I alone in the rains take a bath.