Dark Mornings 2

Yes, it is true that change is inevitable, and yes, it is true that what has gone will never come back, for the sands of time, once slipped from between the fingers, however hard you try, can never be recollected and put together again on the same hand. They say, “Let bygones be bygones”. I say, “How can anyone?” How can you forget the soil in which you were first planted? How can you forget the air which you breathed throughout your life? How can you forget her who you loved throughout your life?

Yes, this morning was dark. Dark enough to keep birds in the nests and terrorize them not to leave their sweet homes. As I sit on the verandah, introspecting my life, the deeds I did, the deeds I didn’t, the deeds I should have done long ago but never did for fear of consequences, and for which I am paying off now, the deeds.. I wish everyone should be given a second chance. A chance to relive life. A chance to undo all the mistakes, a chance to correct all the shortcomings, a chance to forget everything that we wish to, a chance to get brainwashed, just one chance would do though..

The clouds of grief have darkened this morning. Or should I say, the clouds of disbelief, or the fog of irrationality, or something completely alien to me, something which is abstract.. I know it’s there, intangible.. Yet the clouds will get overburdened one day, and then they will rain, and consequently they’ll disappear, and light will come again in my life, those sunny mornings will come again in my life, I am sure about that. I just need to wait… wait… wait…

Slowly

All the wounds, all the bruises,
All the scratches, all the pains,
All the scrapes and all the clots,
All of them will heal slowly.
These newly created distances,
These newly made inequalities,
These new roads which come,
In between love and farness,
They will be habituated to me slowly.
All the promises which were broken,
All the strings which were broken,
My heart of glass which was broken,
All will join themselves slowly.
All the hatred in your heart for me,
All the nothingness in my heart for you,
All the awe in the hearts of people,
All will end but yes, slowly.
Do not worry, that day will come,
I will die, and so will you,
And I promise you that before that happens,
I will forget you however slowly.

Dark Mornings 1

Window, street, broken glass, dew. Memories piled up one after another in front of me as the little boy on the road danced his way wearing his school bag. Memories of such a walk, memories of the girl I walked with, memories of schooldays, school-life, school-friends, boys and girls joking, long phone calls, gatherings at each other’s houses, proposals, teasing, loving, hating, fights, pretty girls at school, unforgettable moments, parties, school-fests, whispers, long walks, rides on each other’s vehicles, club, birthdays, highway rides, exams, late-night talks, secret meetings, kisses, winks, shouting, games… and a plethora of other memories were what were the only things remaining with me now. Intangible, abstract… I thought.

Yes, this morning was dark. Dark enough to lose all that I had gained. Dark enough to fall, rise and fall again. The huge trees on the left side of the street which made the street less hot and I.. And she.. And we both, hand in hand, eyes in eyes kept walking. Where are those days? Where is she? Where am I? Where are we? It seems now as if we had never met, we come close, we go far. We go far only to come close again. That evening, rain, thunder, lightning, clearing, cool breeze, walk, talks, her smile, my dream.. lost. Do I remember what I did in the morning before anything else? Yes I do. I messaged her a “Good morning”, with babyish variations like “Gummolning”,”Gud monnin”, “Goooooooooooooooooooood mornin”… Does she remember what she did in the morning before anything else? No she doesn’t.

Breakfast, how it used to be and how is it now? School, how it used to be! Her face, how it used to be! Her smile, how it used to be! All distances, neared in a flick of the eyelid, she knew that I was there, I knew she was there, but both pretended we just realised it. Didn’t we? And what are we now? Sand. My dreams, sand. My life, a castle of sand, washed away regularly by the waves, rebuilt and rewashed. Do I become strong this way? No. Then what am I leading to? Sand.

As I pen this down, I stop, I think, I keep thinking, until I realise I was writing and come back to it. My mind, how calm and composed it used to be, is it so now? No. Why? Don’t know. Am I insane? May be. But? No, I am not. Sure? Yes. Questioning, answering. What has this happened to me? When will I get an answer? When I dissolve into sand…

Stepping Over a Blade of Grass

“Ah!”, an agonizing voice reverberated in my ears over and over again,
I looked around but couldn’t find anyone,
I moved a step forward, and “Ah!”, came the aching voice again.
I stopped for a moment, scanned my environs.
No, no one. Silence. I took a slight step forward, and,
“Ah!”, came the heart-rending voice again.
Slowly yet steadily I deciphered the mystery, and the origin of the voice,
And was most astonished to see,
It came from the blades of grass pressured under my foot.
As when the Giant would step on my chest,
I was the giant, and the grass, I.
I retrieved my foot, and bent down and looked,
At the blade of grass I had stepped upon.
A green, small blade, so tender, yet so strong,
So insignificant, yet so very significant.
You should never demean even the smallest of things I thought,
For even the grass in my eye would cause the same pain,
As which I had got when I had been betrayed in love..
Oh, were I a bird! I would fly in the sky and never hurt
The smallest of a grass, because its heart, now I hear it beat.

The Dance of Death – A Conversation

Slowly she confronted me. Now we both looked into each other’s eyes, wondering who should speak first. An eerie atmosphere.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
“You have stayed here for a long time now, now it’s my chance.”
“But why? I’m not even twenty, why do you want to overthrow me so soon?”
“Because I hate you. You have done enough damage to people’s life, and yesterday night you yourself prayed that I should come, so I came. Now do not waste my time.”
“But that was only random. When I called you, I actually didn’t mean to call you, I mean, yes, I did call you, but I did not expect you to listen and come to me.”
“Hardly matters.”

Here I was, arguing with death. Apparently yesterday I was so pissed off with the random insane things happening to me that I just happened to say, “Had I died right now!” And now, she was in front of me. I was experiencing the dance of death in front of me. She was determined, I figured out, to take me along with her. But as a matter of fact, I had only made a bleak statement. I did not mean to keep up to that, who would want to die randomly? But she seemed to be more stubborn than I had expected.

“Listen, I have lots of work to do, and lots of people to take along with me. I am not jobless like you. So go and bid goodbye to everyone and come along with me,” she said.
“I won’t. Do what you can”. I realized almost instantaneously I shouldn’t have said that.
“Oh you won’t? I see. So first you call me. I leave all my other work only to come to you, and to please you, and then you say you don’t need me. Who do you think you are? Who do you think gave the power to you to urge to die and then in a flash urge not to?”
“Umm.. I don’t know. But I am not going to die so soon.”
“You do not decide that young boy.”

The first thing that came to my mind now was to shout for mother. May be she would sort this out. “Mother!”, I shouted. Pause. Silence. Footsteps. Mom. “Mother!”, I cried delighted.

“What happened now?” Mom always speaks as if I am still small to break the glasses and then call her to show them.
“Tell her to go away.”
“Who?”
“She.”
“Who?”
“She.”
“Who she?”
“Death.”
“What! Who died? What death? Where?”
“Mom, death is standing in front of you and she wants to take me away with her. Ask her to go away. I do not want to go with her.”
Silence. An uproar of laughter.
“Okay I will. Miss Death, please do not frighten my son anymore. Please go away. My son will never ask for death from today.”
In a flash, she disappeared. I was delighted. Mothers are always so awesome. 😀

Preponed

Hello everyone! You would be happy to know that I have preponed my next publishing date to the 12th of April instead of May 1. Hope you have a good time reading to some really new innovative stuff out here. Waiting for your responses. 🙂

I’m Back

Hello everyone. It’s been some time since I last posted, and the reason being that I was a bit too busy with my college-work, especially a workshop that I attended. It was a web workshop, where they taught us HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP and MySQL. And on top of that I had to answer an end-sem exam of physics practical, and had loads of assignments, shifted my room.. yes, I did lots of work. 😦

But now, for the moment, I am free, and am back to concentrating on my blog, so that I could again entertain you. However, now, I am trying to shift my focus from verses to other areas, the simple reason being, I want to test my versatility. May be it doesn’t work, may be it will. It depends on how you react to my new version. I call it “Contemplation Hours”, though it is actually much more than that. Stay tuned, and keeping visiting this blog, you are definitely going to love the upcoming posts.

I will be posting soon, my next new post comes on May 1, so be in touch. For now, Ciao!